Archive for August, 2006

Dear Pluto

Dear Pluto,

In first grade I learned about you and about how small you were, but yet so significant. You were the border for our solar system. You were the last stop before the rest of galaxy. Yes, you were cold, but that just made you unique. You embraced your coldness and displayed it with the blueness of your surface. For 76 years you held on tight to the title of planet.

I’m sure you are in very low spirits today and your self confidence has been shot to hell. Hell, you’re named after the God of the underworld and the judge of the dead. Shouldn’t you get a say in this decision? But, don’t be discouraged. I’m sure you will do well in your new role as dwarf planet. That term, dwarf planet, even sounds condenscending. But so does little planet, or minor planet. It’s just not the same as PLANET. And now you’re not even the largest dwarf planet. Stupid UB313 aka Xena. God I have Xena. I feel so bad for you Pluto.

Please, Pluto, don’t drift off into space. For it is even colder than you. And don’t feel that you need to try to find a new solar system to be a planet in. We still want you. I will still hold on to the history that you were once a planet and I will tell that fact proudly. The loss of you as a planet has weakened our solar system. We had the power of nine and just because the leading astronomers think they know what they are talking about, they have weakened us to eight, which makes our solar system and Earth more vulnerable to alien attack.

Keep your chin up, Pluto. Your still a proud planet in my memories.

Finally Snakes on a Plane

Last night I finally saw Snakes on a Plane. I missed some of the beginning but that didn’t matter much because I will be seeing this movie several times in the next few weeks. So armed with bottomless nachos and free refill sodas, I found my seats on Pacific Air Flight 121. First I will say that the movie was even better than I have been speculating it would be. The script was absolutely horrible which made it even better. I don’t want to say too much because I don’t want to spoil anything at all. But I will say that I involuntarily dumped my nachos in my lap at one point. This movie is a must see for everyone. Don’t bring your kids. It’s rated R for a reason. This is a very fun movie. Bring all your friends and go see it. But show up ready to scream, yell, shout, squeel, moan, laugh and yes, cry.
Call me up. I’ll join you to see it again, but I can’t promise that you won’t end up with my food in your lap.

Gorilla Biscuits

When I first heard about the Gorilla Biscuits reunion tour coming to Austin and this being the only Texas date, I got really excited. Then I started to think about it and I didn’t really think I wanted to see those kids “older” play those old songs that we used to listen to all the time in high school. I had decided that I was not going to go because I really didn’t want to be disappointed by what I might see.

My brother is very excited and old me that they had some new songs on their myspace page, but by the time I had gotten there they had mysteriously been replaced by the old songs. But I still listened to the old songs. It’s been a looooong time since I’ve put that cassette tape in. I never had the CD. I had forgotten how much I loved those songs and I decided that now I needed to see them. I don’t think they ever toured this far south in the old days. Tickets were cheap enough so my and bro might actually be in the pit together to music we both enjoy. It will be a good night.

Invincible

Priscilla gave a free pass to see a sneak preview of the new Disney movie Invincible staring Marky Mar…Mark Wahlberg. It’s the story of Philadelphia Eagles, Vince Papale. A bartendar who goes to open tryouts and ends up being on the team. With a last minute search to find someone to join me, I ended up going alone. Most of the crowd was high school kids and older people. It was an odd mix it seemed. The movie itself wasn’t bad. I did laugh a few times and some of the cliche’ hollywood movie stuff that I can’t stand.The only gripe I really had was the ending. It seemed to quick and with not enough climax. The story could have gone on a little longer. It was cool seeing Texas Stadium and Randy White and Roger Staubach being represented. It reminded my of going to games when I was a kid in the 70′s during the golden time of the Cowboys. There were some feel good parts and the movie was slightly inspiring. There was just something missing. For a free movie it was great.

Reverend Chadwick

Some of you… most of you know that I became an ordained minister back in April. This past Saturday Reverend Chadwick performed his first wedding. I think I was probably more nervous than the couple I was marrying. What was funny was that when it was done and everyone was cheering for the couple, I heard a cheer for me, “Way to go Chad!”. So thanks for that.

So anyone looking to get married just let me know. I have several packages available to choose from!

drunk reverend
hungover reverend
narcoleptic reverend
bitter divorced trying to talk you out of it during the ceremony reverend
gotta pee reverend
continuous cell phone call reverend
highly emotional reverend
“Haven’t i seen you up here before?” reverend
stuttering reverend
Texas shotgun wedding ceremony – instead of “I do’s” it’s “YOU BETTER”
Princess Bride ceremony – “Mawage. Mawage is what bwings us togethaw.”
Goth ceremony
Punk rock ceremony

If you have other ideas for your wedding ceremony or a type of reverend you would like perform your ceremony, just let me know!

Invisible (pronounced – een-vee-zee-blay)

Think about it. Real super heros and real super villians. Security enhancements. Securitiy cameras a thing of the past. Why would all of this happen? Invisibility! Scientist speculate that a device that could make an object or person invisible may not be to far off in the future. Wouldn’t this be similar to a cloaking device as well? So that would also change the way wars would be fought. Lots of espionage. Invisible people running around trying to get dirt on people, or even assassination attempts. Master Chief‘s everywhere. So maybe someone needs to develope some glasses that will deter the devices effects and all the person wearing the glasses to see the object. Then it’s back to sqare on because everyone would be wearing the anti-invisibility glasses. Wouldn’t it be fun if you could tazer someone you found that was invisible. ZZZZTTTT “Haha got you!”. More on this at reuters.com.