Archive for January, 2009

25 Things About Me

I’ve been tagged a few times with this 25 things about me list on Facebook, so i’m a complying bitch.

1.  Chadwick Wayne is my real first and middle name
2.  I have an 8 year old son named Coby, named after Coby
3.  I work as an IT contractor for the Federal Dept of Transportation
4.  My current roommate and I were in a metal band called The Killing Word
5.  I have a music myspace page that no one knows about
6.  I have a hip hop joke music page and some people know about it
7.  I have a website/blog that noone reads.  invidkllr.com
8.  My Xbox360 Gamertag is invidkllr
9.  I’ll be at SXSW this year once again!
10.  I have crushes on Alizee’, Olivia Munn, Stoya, and Joanna Angel
11.  I had a porn star introduce herself to me at a bar in LA, I acted like I wasn’t interested, which i wasn’t.
12.  My miniature pinscher is named CROM, after Conan’s Cimmerian God of death, destruction, and infinity
13.  The one person I respect the most is my grandfather who is still alive and healthy, OG
14.  I didn’t meet my biological father until I was 19, we still talk a few times a year
15.  I was married from 2000-2004 with my baby’s mama.
16.  I have more hot tub stories than most
17.  I host about 15 websites and own about 10 domains
18.  Bands that I’ve played in : Anonymous Bureaucracy, Holiday, Forefront, Meridian, Kudeta, 7 Star Ensemble, Trust Ensemble, The Killing Word, My Heart Rains Black, MC INVIDKLLR,and  currently working on 2 new projects.
19.  I’ve been skydiving 3 times= 2 tandems, 1 solo
20.  Latest heartbreak was training most of the year for a marathon only to get a stress fracture and knock me out of training and miss the marathon.
21.  I played soccer in K-5th grade, then in college with Cameron Road United, and now indoor soccer with Hooligans Futbol Club coed and men’s  hooligansatx.com
22.  I’ve ridden my bike 4 or 5 times from Houston to Austin in the MS150 = 182 miles
23.  I used to be a pedicab driver
24.  I used to DJ at KVRX, DJ’s once on KAOS (pirate station), DJ’d a few parties for SXSW, and at Red7
25.  I belong to more online social networks and websites than most people, invidkllr, that’s me on EVERYTHING

Being Different

Being a father is one of the greatest things I have ever done, but at times it can be difficult and challenging.  This past weekend I had my 8yr old son for the weekend and we had a small episode/talk that reminded me of a similar episode I had when I was his age.  Flash back to about 1980.  My first grade class had been host to a student teacher named Miss Green, if I remember correctly.  She was a good teacher, if I remember correctly.  She was young and not bad to look at either.  After a few weeks or months (??), her time with us had expired and we threw her a little good bye party in class and continued on.  I remember playing after school at home with a friend and something had just set me off into a crying fit.  My mother came in to see what the problem was and to try to talk to me about it and for some reason I blurted out “Miss Green is gone.”  Even though I hadn’t even been thinking about it and it had nothing to do with what started to upset me.

A similar thing happened to my son as we were trying to go eat.  He was being a little punk about going to get something to eat and just wanted to stay home.  We got in the car and got to the resturant and getting out of the car he still had a “bad attitude”.  “Bad additude” was what my step dad called it when I was being a punk.  So I had to pull him aside and calmly tell him, “Hey, chill out.  Quit being a punk.  What’s your problem?”  Which then he broke down into a few tears and said, “Everyone thinks I’m different!  Everyone else got a 100 on their reading and I didn’t.”  I felt like I did when I was his age.  It threw my memory right back to that day I was so upset that Miss Green was gone.

His actual problem does concern me.  Children at his age (8) want to be accepted by their peers and be just like everyone else, but am I a believer that being different and unique is a good thing and sets yourself apart from the norm.  It’s a fine line to walk and to teach.  Explaining to a child that everyone is special and unique in their own way seems pretty simple, but getting them to really understand that can be difficult.  Growing up I always took people calling me weird as a compliment and I still do.  For younger kids it’s different.  It wasn’t until adolescence that I accepted my individuality and started to thrive on it.  I’m sure I had thoughts of “why can’t I be just like everyone else.”  I think every kid goes through that at some point.

I’m now learning that there are other things in the mix too and it will just take a little time and patience to understand what he is really going through.  It is truly heartbreaking to see your child honestly sad and to not be able to fix it right away and not living in the same household doesn’t make it any easier to be a better dad than I think I am.  Often I only try to find solutions to problems and being a parent, solutions aren’t always right there in front of you.   It just takes time, patience, love  and understanding.  While my child grows as a person, I have to try to remember that I am growing as a parent, always.